Life is good.

So, it's been awhile.

I really have nothing to write about, but I found out that my husband actually checks this site periodically to see if I've posted anything new. He'll be sad to know I'm putting off updating our guild website so that I can ramble for you. But what else is new? I'm lazy. Perhaps that's why I decided not to go back to college.

I am teaching though... Ha ha ha. The joke's on college. I'm a substitute teacher. I make about as much as a first year teacher. I don't get benefits, but I don't need them. I don't have to make a lesson-plan, just follow one. I don't have to deal with inter-office politics, just ignore it. And I don't have to worry about calling in sick, just not picking up the phone if it rings at 6:00 am.

Life is good. When I want to, I watch my neighbors' kids for the comic relief after a hard day. I come home to my wonderful husband. Summers, my brother may crash on my couch after a late night of computer games using our DSL connection; I get to cook him breakfast the next morning. Our insurance covers my therapist. And my mom has given up trying to pressure me into giving her grandchildren until we're ready. (This does not mean she has stopped cooing at babies in public places...)

I bought my neighbor's son ice cream as a treat for being good when I took him out earlier. He will probably be bouncing off the walls tonight when his dad puts him in bed. I smile. I remember that he will most likely get even when I have children and his kids baby-sit for me...

I don't mind. Life is good. I have enough calls coming in to keep me working 5 days a week and I make enough to keep my husband and myself properly fed, safe, and entertained.

Like I said, I really didn't have anywhere to go with this. But it's ok because life is good.

When I was your age...

Sometimes when my parents get that look of nostalgia on their faces and I hear the words, We never had those... or worse, When I was your age, I end the sentence with the words, "and we walked both ways barefoot, in the snow, having had nothing but rocks and sticks for breakfast, and we were glad to have it too!" This usually pulls them back into the schism of reality known as "now" and without much effort, they rejoin the rest of us suffering folk.

The other day, while at the mall, I saw a kid with a cellphone- and when I say kid, I mean, this guy was like... eight... AT THE MOST. My mind scrambled for an alternative but I found myself swimming in a sea of irony. "When I was your age..." echoed in my brain for at least ten minutes, or at least until I passed the coffee kiosk. I bought and paid for a soy caramel latte and took comfort in the fact that the eight year old would probably rather chew glass than gulp down the steaming goodness in my hand.

I don't think I'll ever feel old. My little brother just graduated college (though he will be going back for his masters degree). But even though I watched the little nugget of annoyance plod across a stage and get handed his diploma, I still felt like it was OK. I might be the older sister watching her little brother become a man (metaphorically speaking, of course), but even that Kodak moment wasn't enough to strangle the childhood out of me. Which led me to a VERY happy thought: If I was able to make it through the event symbolizing the end of my younger brother's childhood without flipping out, then I will NEVER grow old!

Hallalluiah! Now where's the cake?

As an interesting side note, my Dad asked me if I regretted not participating in my own college graduation ceremony. Without hesitation, I said that I did not regret it at all. This question, I'm sure, stemming from having watched his son make a merry jaunt across the platform. But even while I understood the necessity of my brother's walk, I realized synchronously my own need not to. It would mean one step closer to growing up- and I refuse!

Antipolis & The Great Teaching Adventure

I'm finally running my own campaign in Dungeons and Dragons. Ultimately I would have prefered to have 6 people playing, but circumstances determined that this should not be so.

I wrote this whole world up and created a player's guide and so forth. All ready I find that I enjoy putting a lot of time into a really fulfilling adventure. I thought it might drive me nuts, but it has yet to do so... Update later on to see if this is still true.

As for the rest of my life- I find it almost ironic that I'm pretty much back to square one. I originally went to college at a community college in order to transfer my credits to a university and get my teaching certificate. Once I changed my mind about the school, I thought maybe I should change my major, so I never got a teaching certificate either. I double majored and basically became a useless graduate.

Ha ha ha! But now, now I am subbing for the local school districts, and I'm actually enjoying it. I figured that my life choices had pointed me away from teaching, but financial pressures have forced me into now, despite that. And I like it.

Tim suggested I go back to school and get my teaching certificate. While I'm not dissaproving of the idea, I'm not exactly happy to jump back into the college life. I loved college more than any other school experience, but now I'm not so fond of the extra expenses, the text book resale joke, the completely unnecessary classes that have no purpose except to fill credit hours.

But hey, maybe it is for the best.

We'll see.

(As a side note: I have to add a link to this particular episode of Order of the Stick... It's just really funny.)

http://www.giantitp.com/oots/oots0307.gif

For the record

It's been over a year, and I still don't regret not having walked at the graduation ceremony.

Update in another year.

College Daze

I'm only 24. I don't feel old, but I remember college. It's strange, but I clearly recall a push for collegiate excellence. Ironically, I am not only NOT using the education I received there, but I'm missing the few times I shirked "excellence" and partied so hard I couldn't remember the entire night.

I wouldn't say that I was reckless in any sense of the word, but I was a dork. I studied like crazy, got practically straight A's (only a very few exceptions) and I rarely stayed out so late that I wouldn't be able to make classes the next morning. I had one class which I repeatedly skipped because the rest of the class did too it was so worthless. My good friend Ronny (name changed to protect the guilty) and I used to leave class just as the proff was entering; it was definitely not a secret. He's now a huge acronym somewhere in D.C. doing grown-up things and making a living in the same field as the class we skipped. I feel no remorse. I got to spend time with a good friend and skip a worthless class right around lunch when we needed a brain break anyway.

Point is, I missed out on a lot of other things I could have been involved in. I did do a lot of extracurricular stuff, but most of it was in some way related to my resume getting a boost. I didn't dislike any of it- I wouldn't have done it if I did. I made a lot of friends, too. But when it came to getting down with my bad self, I rarely ever let fun get fun.

A few times, I went to one particular club where I knew no one. I wasn't dating anyone at the time, and I would dance until I was sweaty, then sit down and have a glass of wine and enjoy the sights and sounds of FUN until I was ready for another round, and had emptied my drink. (For safety purposes it's safer than leaving your drink alone).

My husband isn't the partying type, so we don't really go out like that. The few times I have gone out partying with him, we come home much earlier than I would have on my own. So now the problem is, if I'm not out partying with him, then I can't really go out partying. I know that neither he nor I would feel comfortable with me going out with a group including guys if he wasn't included too.

And so now I come back to the concept of college. I am actually considering going back. If I can get my Teaching Certificate and another bachelors in Lit, then I'll actually be able to do something with all that education I received. - And maybe I'll get to party my ass off once more.

A shout out to my partner in crime, "Ronny". This one's for you, and hoping that I get another class I can skip all the time. I'll think of you when I do.

Welcome back to As the World Turns

Previously, on As the World Turns, Erin started working as an office manager for a privately owned Florist, working as hard as she could. Can Erin outrun the inevitable? Can she manage to hide from the horrible economy? Can she dodge the rocks flung in her direction because she ended up wearing the "Scapegoat" hat? The answers, next on eblogger50!

Boss's Lackey: I'm sorry; we just don't need you anymore! It's not you- well, actually, we made up this list of bogus reasons why it is you so we don't have to give you unemployment or a severance package. Here.

Erin: But, but, I thought you loved me!

Lackey: It just... it's not me! I'll pass on any reasonable issues you would like to have me tell the boss.

Erin: I thought the boss needed me!

Lackey: The boss did. The boss thought you were great, but that feeling sort of went away in the last few weeks with everyone around them messing up! It's not their fault, they just needed someone to blame.

Erin: But why me? I worked so hard! I had no warning- no chance to change, to be what the boss wanted me to be! Oh woe is me! What do I do?

Lackey: Pack your things.

Erin: Wait... Oh woe is me? Who's writing this thing? Someone hand me a pen, I'm gonna make some script changes.

Lackey: Hey, wait! What are you doing???

Erin: I'm gonna leave. I'm not taking any more crap. Tell the boss I'm gonna talk to a lawyer. See ya!


That's not exactly how it happened, but I think the point is made.

My favorite reasons for being fired included losing something I was never given, messing up on things I didn't do, and changing something I didn't change (because hey, if the boss didn't do it, and I'm the only other person who inputs data, then I must have done it.)

But my all-time favorite was "Not being a team player" which I found particularly amusing with all the overtime hours I put in off the clock, and the total lack of anyone being nice to me.

For example: One day I colored my hair a completely different color and no one said anything on that day or any day after. Not even "Oh man, let me get a hat for you..." which at least would have indicated that it was noticed. I was told my birthday would be celebrated upon my return on the next Monday (that was something they tried to do for employees, I was told) - I never even got a Happy Birthday. Lunch was bought for everyone on the company tab- my order was never taken. Upon entering in the mornings on Monday, employees often went around and asked how everyone else's weekend was. While I often asked others, I was never asked in return, EVER. While I was employed there, the boss wrote an employee handbook, to which any reference to my position was ignored, including those things I dealt with on a daily basis.

How does one become a "Team Player" when one is excluded from the team?

I need to listen to my instincts. My instinct told me that I had ZERO job security there. I knew that I needed to make myself completely necessary, filling a newly-created job, so I offered to come in on days off, stay after hours, deal with complaints, etc. But the whole time, I felt like my desk wasn't my desk, my time wasn't of value, and my necessity was zero. Even though I felt like I was an asset to my family being employed, I realize that I was just a scapegoat for my employer.

I loved the work. That's the big bummer. I did EXACTLY what I love to do: Multitasking, while still interacting with people.

I'm gonna be a housewife for awhile. I'll keep the house clean, make sure the laundry gets done on time, and all the while, keep on writing. Because, to be honest, it's the writing that keeps me sane. And I'm not talking about blogging or writing in a journal. I mean the thought-provoking character-creating writer's block-kicking writing that goes beyond my own explanation. I have beautiful stories that I can't wait to get published. I have ideas for practically every genre. I guess the only place left to be optimistic is in my getting published someday. Call me a wuss, but I'm too chicken to let someone shoot that down too.

I think I'll take up a job as a professional cafe writer. Watch out Starshmucks, here I come!

You answered a reference question where?

So, ((cue ominous music)) for the masses, I bring you the return of the Author!!! ((Cue Crack of Thunder)).

My Christmas play went surprisingly well. After the general chaos, which occurs when one places large numbers of small children on a stage for rehearsal, settled, my assistants and I were able to run through the play not once, but twice, during which time the kids sang their little miniature hearts out, acted out, and sat down-stood up-sat-down-and stood up about 65 times, I called a break for the pizza party. I think I may have broken them though, as during the very last song on the day of the show, they just sort of lost it.


Maybe it was just too much. The song with only one verse, which so many of them had belted out with gusto multiple times the day before, became a sort of ballad where, instead of singing more slowly to account for the change in tone, they simply began singing every few words, and at 1/3rd the volume. They compensated though. At the very end, one of the girls, an eight year old whose parents just adopted her from Ukraine, got to do a sweet little "Thank you so much!" in Ukrainian at the very end, which was to be followed by another little boy saying "The End." She got her "Thank you very much" out and that was all she wrote. I felt bad since the little boy didn't get to add in his one real line in the play to say "The End", but parents were on their feet clapping and cheering, and I'm pretty sure my goal of making Natasha feel like a part of the church family succeeded. I'll have to give David something nice since no one even heard him.

As a side note, this was one of those things people refer to as "A valuable learning experience." Which is a nice way to say, "It made me nuts, but I'm masochistic enough to want to do it again next year." I worried enough to put on weight. I called it off twice. I slipped at one point and said something really bad in front of the pastor's daughter, which I was pretty sure would bring an end to the play in the first few weeks of general rehearsal. But in the end, everything worked out. There were four major roles, played by older kids who rehearsed once a week for about 4 weeks. Then there was a chorus and the ensemble. Kids in these were interchangeable depending on the scene. The kids were handed a CD including all the music, and then there were three rehearsals and one dress rehearsal. Apparently, this is way more than the Pastor did when he ran the Christmas Play. I just thought it made sense to do this many.

But, like I said, I'll be doing this next year. I'm also the "Youth Drama Director" now, for our church, which means I'm even more masochistic than I thought. It's the only real way for me to be involved in drama at my age (out of school) and I also get to work with kids (which makes me a hero to parents when I tell them to drop their kids off with me for a few hours on the weekend). Two wonderful flavors combined! Crunchy with a chewy candy center. Yum!

Completely unrelated is the reason for the naming of this post. When you've had as many jobs as I have, in as many directly unrelated fields, you tend to know the answers to a wide range of questions.

I'm sure, at some point, this exact thing has happened to me. Now, since this type of thing has happened so very often, I can't pinpoint one specific question or location. People must look at me and think, "Wow, there's someone who can answer an obscure question in the most untraditional of settings. Let me think of something to ask her."

I'm telling you; people MUST THINK THIS ABOUT ME, IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME!!!

Another "New" Job

I am employed again. We'll see how long it lasts. The shoe job never flew. I was an employee for 30 minutes before my first shift started, and then I was let go. Well, that's fine with me, since I love my current job. But then again, I could be writing another blog in some odd few months about being re-employed, or worse- unemployed. But for right now, it's flowers. Kind of the opposite of shoes. And I work with a great company, and great people. I'm adding on to this, so hopefully no one will notice the change. My world could come crashing down around me... Someone could stop me and say, "Hey, you changed your blog and it's still labeled as being written from that day!" And to that I would say "Ne."

I wonder what my most important asset is. If I were in any other job, it would be clear what I would need to have in order to succeed, and my asset would then be clear. If I were a stripper, it would be my body. If I were a firefighter, it would be resolve. If I were a painter, it would be my hands, or my attention to detail, or my business savvy, compelling me to trademark a name like, "Painter of Dark" or something. I was going somewhere important with this. Now it doesn't seem as important as getting myself a trademarked name. Oooooh, and some publicity! I wonder if I can send out a press release with my new title and get rich...
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Organizer of Messes, Erin L, will be appearing in your home town on January the 15th to personally sign messes. Tickets are available through ticket master, or charge by phone!
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As a long and completely unrelated sidenote:
I'll be checking in, no doubt, after the chaos of the "Season of the Spirit" has settled. For a season dedicated to peace, joy, and goodwill toward man, I sure have seen an awful lot of angry and frustrated waitstaff, clerks, and associates. I think someone forgot to tell them that this is a season of love, and joy, and they need to stay happy and smiling during mandatory overtime starting at 5am the day after Thanksgiving.

Who came up with that, anyway? People need to shop so badly the day after Thanksgiving, that the mall department stores were staffed and open at 5am the next morning. Kmart let people in before that, so shoppers could get a look at the "Great Deals" available only at 5am that day, and they would be the first ones to get those "Great Deals". Once the chimes rang five, shoppers could beat each other down to get those coveted "Great Deals" and then race, Indy style, to the check-out lanes where employees who had worked the day before prepping the store, now stood, surreal and comatose, with coffee-plastic smiles plastered to their faces, ready and willing to take crazed, blood-covered shoppers' credit cards. Merry Christmas.

I think a friend of mine said it best when he said that most parents could really show their kids the meaning of Christmas by openning their credit card statements this year, right? Don't we have year after year of new credit card holders learning the ways of their forefathers in the time-honored tradition of the 'Day after Thanksgiving Sale'?

>>Come on kiddo, you are now old enough to learn the rites of maturity.

>But Mom, I'm tired. I'm full of Turkey and I only have another day off before classes start again!

>>Tough, get in the car.

>It's still dark out!

>>It's like that in Michigan all day long this time of year. Here's your charge card. You are required to max it out, or you will fail.

>Won't that mean a huge interest rate, compiling until it's completely paid off?

>>That's the idea.

>I don't understand.

>>You will when you're older.

And if you have no ha'penny then God Bless you... If you have no ha'penny then God Bless You.